The Relational Universe

A way of visualising who is in our lives and how they are connected to us – recognising that we are all interdependent, and that every relationship meets a human need.

WHAT IS THE RELATIONAL UNIVERSE?

the whole is greater than the sum of its parts

The Relational Universe visualises who’s in our lives and how they are connected to us. The constellation can help us better understand the power of different relationships, recognise that we’re all interdependent, and explore how we can strengthen relationships to create a greater sense of equilibrium. Remember that every relationship meets a human need.

The Relational Universe draws on the power of metaphor to illustrate what we mean by relationship-centred practice. It conceptualises relationships in the broadest sense, recognising that when it comes to relationships, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. By providing a way of looking at all the relationships that surround a person or family, the Relational Universe widens the focus on both each individual relationship that has significance – for better or worse – and the entirety of the relational constellations in someone’s life.

Importantly, the Relational Universe emphasises that human beings are interdependent. We are all part of other people’s Relational Universes, just as others are part of ours. They might be close to us or be farther in the distance. Their presence might have a strong gravitational pull on us or less of an effect. Some of the relationships will have been there since our birth, others may have been recent additions to our Relational Universe.

Each of these relationships has meaning, in a multitude of different ways, with a wide variety of emotions and needs connected to every single relationship. Some might be toxic or laden with trauma, whilst others are characterised by love and a strong bond of trust. Our Relational Universe is in a constant state of movement, with ever-changing dynamics that can make it hard to find a comfortable state of equilibrium.

APPLICATION TO PRACTICE

a solution-focused model

In social pedagogical practice, the metaphor enables us to engage in dialogue with the person we support and to learn more about the relationships that affect them. Once we better understand their Relational Universe – how they see and feel about both individual relationships and the overall constellation – we can explore how we might best support the person in developing and maintaining these relationships, or in forming new ones. In this sense, the Relational Universe is a solution-focused model, encouraging us to look together towards what can be different rather than what has happened in the past.

WITH LOOKED-AFTER CHILDREN

putting relationships at the heart of care

The Relational Universe of a child in care can be quite curious. There is no shortage of people appearing like a multitude of distant stars in a universe and disappearing long before they’ve even become visible. But there are also others who become central to the child’s relational universe. What is different for children in care is the ways in which their Relational Universe is often thrown out of equilibrium by decisions outside their control: placement moves resulting in loss of friends, school changes as well as new carers, limitations to family contact, changing social workers.

The frequency with which many children in care experience such upheaval makes it imperative to put greater emphasis on developing and sustaining relationships. A social pedagogical perspective with children’s Relational Universe at the heart of care and educational practice can provide a useful and visually stimulating framework that considers all past, current and future relationships that surround a child in care.

The Relational Universe also acts as a reminder that we mustn’t exclude those individuals we may not see as ‘ideal’ from a professional assessment. Once a young person has left care, these are often the people they turn to and, if engaged early on, they could play a vital long-term supportive role. Recognising that they are part of the Relational Universe – whether or not we like this as professionals – can help us put a clear emphasis on the assets rather than the deficits of these people.

Children in care are often cautious of relationships with adults as their previous experiences may have been very negative, so a primary task is for professionals to offer a safe environment where they can model positive, trusting relationships for the child. Over time, this can then extend to other relationships in the child’s universe, including those outside the looked-after environment.

IN ADULT SOCIAL WORK

seeing someone’s world through their eyes

Social worker Nicole Ashworth describes using the Relational Universe with a person she supported, which she describes as one of the most valuable tools she encountered in her practice:

‘I placed her at the centre as the glowing force. Marie’s most important factor in her life is her dog, which I drew close to her. A little further along in the constellation is her friend, who I imagined as a small red planet – an alarming colour, because her friend has her own issues, and they can negatively influence each other. Further down in the universe, there are two black holes which represent the alcohol. They have a strong pull on Marie and influence her a lot. In the left hand corner we have a beautiful, sparkling and rare shooting star – standing for previous professionals who were involved in her life. Initially they were keen to support her, but Marie finds it difficult to build and maintain relationships. So, these shooting stars appear in her life and, as quickly as they appear, they disappear again; if you blink you miss them.’

Nicole Ashworth, Social Worker, ASYE and Student Lead, Middlesbrough Council

This concept really helped me to analyse relationships more deeply, and it acts as a stark reminder of how privileged we are to be part of someone’s universe. As professionals, we sometimes want to feel as if we are the most important person in someone’s life, as we want to be the agents of change. However, looking at our own universe, do we perceive our GP or dentist to be a big influencing factor in our lives? Of course not, they are metaphorically on a different planet.

PUTTING IT INTO PRACTICE

questions to sit with

If you drew your own Relational Universe, who would be at the centre? Who might be closer than you’d expect, or further away?
How might the person you support see their own Relational Universe differently from the way you see it? What can you do to understand their perspective better?
Are there people in someone’s universe that you find difficult to see as a positive resource? How might you reframe this?
How does your own position in someone’s Relational Universe shift over time – and how can you support that movement in a way that serves their long-term wellbeing?